By Mel The Cat Columnist
Greetings Melvians! I hope you’re all well. I have recovered from my trip to the vet last week. It was a routine check up but there’s nothing routine when I see needles and thermometers. It was rather sweet when I was put inside the cage because Madison was concerned for me. She whined a little bit. I pretended that I didn’t scare about her sweetness but I did enjoy it. Cats and dogs are funny creatures together. Before the humans adopted Jaden and I, they thought they could get another dog so they brought over a friend’s dog as a test. That test failed. She likes cats much better. Or maybe she views us as other dogs? The little human gave me a few pets and told me not to be afraid if I had to get shots and not to cry. His pep talk was cute.
Anyway, back to my vet appointment. I had never been to this vet before. On the way there, I got underneath my bed inside the cage. I was hoping I would be able to hide but it didn’t work. As my human mother was filling out paper work, I thought I’d peek out and check things out. You know, pull some recon of my surroundings. I was quickly seen and I went to hid again but then I heard “Oh, he is a handsome cat! Look at the bow tie collar!” I decided not to hide and be admired instead. Who would want to hide when you can be complimented? Not this fella!
My name was called and we went back to the exam room. I started to get really nervous. My human mother took me out by pulling out my bed. Sneaky lady. I was not amused but then the vet tech starting loving on me and saying what I handsome boy I was. She liked my blue bow tie collar as well. And the freckles on my nose. I decided I would let her check me out since she seemed nice. I figured I could work my charm on her and make her become a fan of Mel the Cat. She did take my picture for my rabies vaccination chart but I made her work for it. Maybe it was because I don’t like paparazzi. Maybe it was because my human mother takes too many pictures and I’m tired of it. Or maybe it’s just because I knew what was going to happen next. Who knows.
The vet came in after she left. She seemed nice, too. I like ladies with curly hair. I used to play in my human mother’s hair a lot when I was a kitten so I’m fond of curly hair. She said I was a pretty “orange tabby.” I was like what? I am not an orange tabby, I am a miniature dwarf lion. I guess since I’m such a rare breed, it’s understandable she confused me with an orange tabby. Then I saw then the dreaded thermometer. I liked her a little less at that point. I don’t to talk about what happened with that. Then, I got two shots. Ugh. And then, she took my blood. I stared her down. I studied her face. I wanted to be angry but she was just doing her job. The assistant that was with her petted me and said nice things about me. I am a fan of compliments so I couldn’t be a hater of any of them. I’m sure they felt the stress of working on a celebrity like me so I decided to cut them some slack.After everything was over, I was given some treats. My human mother was told I looked good and would call her with my blood work results. Everyone there loved me and my fan base continues to grow!
When we arrived home, the little human and Madison were both very happy when I came home. Once again, I pretended not to care, but I was happy to have such a warm welcome. It’s nice to know that even though I’m kind of a bad kitty sometimes, they all still love me. I was given a couple of treats but the little human.
My human mother talked to the vet a couple days later. She was told I was in good health but I had a little bit of high cholesterol but she said it was probably because I ate before my test. I cannot imagine having to fast for 12 hours before getting my blood taken. I’m not sure how you humans do it. If I had to, I’d be like “Seriously, you won’t let me eat my food or have any treats then you stick me with a needle and take my blood? You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!” That’s almost as annoying as when Madison steals my bed or when the little human tries to walk me on a leash. Not a fan. I’m sure my humans would reward me with something like tuna or the whole house to myself for a weekend so I can have some peace and quiet.
Speaking of peace and quiet, I should go nap for a little bit so I can get some energy saved up so I can go run up and down the stairs in the middle of the night and annoy the humans. I’ve been trying to be more sporadic with my midnight meowing. I like to mix it up. After all, variety is the spice of life.
Until next time Melvians…..